I have always been a caring person, but very shy and unable to express my feelings face to face. While I was away from home it had been easier to write and close with the usual “Love” before my signature. Those occasions when I came to visit presented a good chance to hug and say a quick “I love you,” hoping it wouldn’t be noticed.
The inability to express my feelings openly was an ongoing source of stress and guilt. I thought it was something I could overcome as I got older, but to my disappointment, the inability became greater with age. Someday it would be too late to say what was in my heart and the unspoken words would become a lifelong regret. It seemed a hopeless situation.
Then, it occurred to me that even though I wasn’t away, I could still put my feelings on paper. It was a solution that had worked in the past and could work now. These words were the summation of a lifetime, the unspoken feelings that had built up for so many years. Behind a dam of fear they lay as driftwood doing no one any good. Now, at last, they could be said and my heart could finally find peace in that knowledge. I wrote the following:
I want you to know how much I miss my growing up years with all of us together. It was a comfortable and safe time that I thought would never end. Now that it’s gone, I only wish we could do it all over again. I miss all of you very much.
With All My Love,
The words were sent that same day. My mother never acknowledged receiving the letter, at least not to me, for she, too, was unable to show her feelings openly. Mom passed away soon after that. Later, her housekeeper told me how much my mother had enjoyed reading my words; words that had finally made their way from my heart to hers. The letter had accomplished its purpose.
Copyright © 2010 LeRoy Dean All Rights Reserved