Once, I ordered from the right side of the menu…
the waitress brought me $4.98.
It is said that age brings wisdom…wonder if I will live that long.
If you stay busy doing something all your life…
how will you qualify to do nothing when you retire?
My house floors have squeaks…I like it….covers up mine.
I could have done better in school…if “F” meant “fantastic.”
My ex-wife supported just about everything I did…except breathing.
In parochial school, the corner was my friend…spent a lot of time there.
I was in second grade before I realized giant penguins were also called nuns.
As a Catholic boy, my confessions were always the same…
guess I was a repeat offender.
When I was little, I talked to myself…everyone thought it was cute;
now that I’m old, when I talk to myself…everyone thinks I’m crazy.
When you’re little and lose your temper…”Oh! How cute”;
when you’re old and lose your temper…”Oh! How senile”
When you little, you have no name…you’re a “cutie”…“sweetie pie”…”dearie”
When you get old, nothing changes…you’re a “honey”…”sweetie”…dearie”
“Smile today…it’ll make someone wonder what you’re up to.”